" What are Wipes?"
Hey, I got an idea. That’s my one of my four year olds favorite phrases. “ James, its time to go to bed.” He never refuses directly, its always, “ hey, I got an idea” or “that’s not funny mommy.” Now, my daughter she just ignores me. If I force the issue, she’ll flat out refuse and if that doesn’t work she throws a fit. Emma looks like a baby on steroids she’s a forty pound two year old afropolurican with an attitude. My father says she’s an alpha female. A fit consists of ear piercing screams, sweating, crying, kicking and turning various shades of red and purple, she tops it off by pulling off her diaper and hurling it at the floor. We think she maybe she’s gifted.
Fine dining with the darlings or feeding time. James has no body fat, a passion for fine cuisine and the caloric requirements of a bull elephant. He can eat for an hour straight, we left him with his grandfather and he polished off 14 meatballs in a single sitting. Emma has no time for food; she always has better things to do. As a result she eats as quickly as possible, stuffing as much food in her mouth as will fit. She looks like a snake trying to swallow an egg, there’s definitely a Heimlich maneuver in her future.
My husband and I have Irish twins. No, neither of us is Irish. That’s two babies in one year; we adopted our son and immediately got pregnant with, Emma. Isn’t that sweet. Twins are so cute. Let’s be honest here, it was a family planning melt down. Sure twins are cute-when they’re four! We have done four years of butt wiping baby care. Of course we loved every minute of it, but we have done nothing else.
Parents of infants especially twins live in the baby zone. It’s a circuit: wake up, to happy meal, to park, to nap, to wake up, to … The car starts to look like a rolling trash can; your clothes look like dishrags and the drive through attendants get to know you by name. You’re so tired you can’t find the bathroom.
So what do aging parents of twins do for entertainment? They engage in a pastime as common as disposable diapers, they watch new parents get their butts kicked all over the tot lot by their darling offspring. They rejoice when hapless neighbors tell them they’re going to have second child. Why, I have a dear friend, mother to be, who said to me, “Wipes, what are wipes?” “No, I don’t need wipes, I’ll just use napkins or a wash cloth.” My husband and I got a good long laugh out of that one.
Fine dining with the darlings or feeding time. James has no body fat, a passion for fine cuisine and the caloric requirements of a bull elephant. He can eat for an hour straight, we left him with his grandfather and he polished off 14 meatballs in a single sitting. Emma has no time for food; she always has better things to do. As a result she eats as quickly as possible, stuffing as much food in her mouth as will fit. She looks like a snake trying to swallow an egg, there’s definitely a Heimlich maneuver in her future.
My husband and I have Irish twins. No, neither of us is Irish. That’s two babies in one year; we adopted our son and immediately got pregnant with, Emma. Isn’t that sweet. Twins are so cute. Let’s be honest here, it was a family planning melt down. Sure twins are cute-when they’re four! We have done four years of butt wiping baby care. Of course we loved every minute of it, but we have done nothing else.
Parents of infants especially twins live in the baby zone. It’s a circuit: wake up, to happy meal, to park, to nap, to wake up, to … The car starts to look like a rolling trash can; your clothes look like dishrags and the drive through attendants get to know you by name. You’re so tired you can’t find the bathroom.
So what do aging parents of twins do for entertainment? They engage in a pastime as common as disposable diapers, they watch new parents get their butts kicked all over the tot lot by their darling offspring. They rejoice when hapless neighbors tell them they’re going to have second child. Why, I have a dear friend, mother to be, who said to me, “Wipes, what are wipes?” “No, I don’t need wipes, I’ll just use napkins or a wash cloth.” My husband and I got a good long laugh out of that one.
posted by Ann Nomura at 8:27 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home